The "No Hug" Rule © 1999

by Cheryl Costello-Forshey

The first day of kindergarten,

he hurried to the door

Shrugging off his mother's hugs,

he didn't need them anymore

For he was all grown up now,

too big for all that stuff

Instead he waved a quick good-bye,

hoping that would be enough

Still he couldn't help but look back,

as he hurried through the door

Seeing tears in his mother's eyes,

he waved to her once more

And then he left her standing there,

with a sad smile upon her face

As he ventured onward to a different world,

a new exciting place

And when he came home from school that day,

she asked what all he'd done

He handed her a paper,

trees upon its front, and a big round yellow sun

A picture quite imperfect,

for he'd messed up here and there

But she didn't seem to notice,

or she didn't seem to care

The first day of Junior High,

he hurried to the door

Running from his mother's hugs,

he didn't want them anymore

He ignored her calling out to him,

as he hurried down the street

Near the intersection,

where his friends had planned to meet

He hoped that she would understand,

why he had to walk to school

Riding with his mother,

just wouldn't have been cool

But somewhere near the crosswalk,

he turned to see her there

Standing on the sidewalk,

her hand raised up midair

Hastily he coyly waved,

then hurried to meet his friends

Fighting back the urge,

to turn and wave again

And when he came home from school,

she asked what all he'd done

He handed her some papers,

with X's marked on more than one

The teacher clearly pointing out,

the wrong answers here and there

But his mother didn't seem to notice,

or she didn't seem to care

The first day of senior high,

he hurried out the door

Jumped into the driver's seat,

of his jacked-up shiny Ford

He left without his breakfast,

he left without a word

But he turned and looked back,

before pulling from the curb

He saw her waving frantically,

as he drove away

He tapped his horn just once,

to brighten up her day

He saw a smile cross her face,

and then he drove from sight

Onward to a different world,

a new exciting life

Months came and went,

and at the end of every day

She would ask about his life,

but he had less and less to say

He didn't have the time for talk,

she would have to understand

He was no longer a little boy,

he'd become a man

And at his graduation, as tears shone in her eyes

He knew the time had come,

to bid His Mom good-bye

For he was off to college,

off to better days

No more rules to abide,

alone to find his way

Suitcases filled the trunk,

of his dirty beat-up Ford

He couldn't wait to get to school,

to check out his room and dorm

She opened up his car door,

closed it when he got in

Then smiled proudly at her son,

as tears dropped from her chin

She reached through the open window,

wished him luck in school

And then she pulled him close to her,

and broke the "no hug" rule

He felt the freedom greet him,

as he pulled onto the interstate

At last his life was his alone,

he anticipated fate

But college life deemed more challenging,

that he ever could have hoped

There was no time to respond to letters,

his mother often wrote

He was a grown adult now,

too old for all that stuff

His visits during holidays,

would have to be enough

Besides, midterms were quickly coming,

the pressure was immense

He often studied late into the night,

his need to pass intense

And being a man was harder,

than he imagined it would be

His future was at stake,

and all he longed to be

He wondered how he'd manage,

how he'd ever cope

What if he failed his tests?

Would there be no hope?

As if he had a calling,

he headed down the interstate

Driving at full speed,

the hour getting late

He pulled up to the curb,

where once he used to roam

And went through the open door,

of his mother's home

She was sitting at the table,

with a drawing in a frame

Memories from the past,

that brought both joy and pain

She didn't need to ask,

why he was home from school

Because she knew the answer,

when he broke the "no hug" rule

His arms around her tightly,

peering at the drawing he had done

Lots of trees, imperfect branches,

and a big round yellow sun

She smiled a knowing smile,

and then she spoke aloud

"Son you always did, and you always will,

make me very proud

For look how far you've traveled,

from that little boy so brave

Heading off to kindergarten,

your hand up in a wave

And through the years you've made mistakes,

but son I've made them too

Being perfect is not an option,

you can only do --

the best that you can do

And don't expect more than that,

for life is supposed to be fun

You've only got one to live,

so you must do what is best for you -- son"

Sitting in his dorm room,

when the pressure seems too much

And all that he is striving for,

seems completely out of touch

He peers at the drawing,

of a big round yellow sun

And then he is reminded,

of just how far he's come

From childhood to manhood,

fighting back many a fear

Through trials and tribulations,

holding back many a tear

Knowing that being successful,

isn't passing every test

And the only way to falter in life,

is by failing to do his best

And the biggest lesson he's learned,

one he did not learn in school

That it's ok for even a man,

to break the "no hug" rule.

Special thanks to Cheryl Costello-Forshey for giving me permission to use this poem. © 1999